If any of these statements apply to you, there are many medical, psychological and social reasons why that could be. But one you may not have considered is you just don't want to have sex — at least not as much as you think is "normal" — and that's not necessarily an issue.
Just like if you don't want to run a marathon, it doesn't matter that you can't run 10 kilometres an hour," explains Amanda Newman, a women's health specialist GP from Jean Hailes for Women's Health. Andrea Waling, a researcher from the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society, says while our acceptance of "diverse" sex drive is increasing — the rise of asexuality being one example — many people still feel pressure to have a "normal" libido.
We'll unpack some things you might not have considered that can influence it, but also explain why your libido might be just fine as it is — high or low. Emily Harris, who studied sexual desire through her work at the University of Queensland, says libido fluctuates in two ways.
Then, she explains, there are broader changes that can influence libido, such as ageing, having children, stress and relationship satisfaction. Dr Ariana says the frequency of sexual intercourse has nothing to do with libido and satisfaction.
A study shows about 70 per cent of Australian women aged 40 to 65 experience a lack of sexual desire. Get our newsletter for the best of ABC Everyday each week.
Dr Waling says the assumption that libido should be at a certain level or consistent over time is harmful. However, stigma around extremely high libido in women or low libido in men still remains, Dr Waling says. If you are not a ready hard sexual male [it's assumed] there is something wrong with you.
If your libido is something you would like to change, there are many things that could have an impact. Menopausechanges in hormone levels, medication usage and stress are some common ones we hear about — discussing these with your GP is a good starting point.
3. relationship issues
Painful sex is a common reason women have low libidos and often goes untreated because we think it's normal. It's hard to be excited about sex if it's uncomfortable.
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2. alcohol and drugs
That doesn't mean there is nothing you can do if you would like to up your libido. What is libido? Libido is just a fancy term for sex drive, says sexologist Armin Ariana. address. How often should couples be having sex?
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